Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
