my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
