i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
