I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize