remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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