She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
