What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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