Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
