your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
