My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
