Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
birth control should be required to get into college
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
