I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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