lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
