are you still at the devil's house?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
