whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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