Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
