Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
