there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
