I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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