I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize