brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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