Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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