Just fell off a train. Bad.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
