Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
