you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
