No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
