Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize