You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
