i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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