Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
