i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
