Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
