I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
