i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize