Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize