Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
