Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
