After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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