You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am one with the molecules
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
