omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
