hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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