yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm at about main and main street
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
