better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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