HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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