I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
