They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
