He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize