I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize