You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
