Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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