Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
