So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
