Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
