I want to have your abortion
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
