so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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