eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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