I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
