OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
