i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she smelled like a LAN party
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
